Awards Season–or the long and the short of it

We are expecting our 4th sizable snowstorm in just over a week. So, in order to prepare I went out to look for various items which may or may not be important to my survival. I would read you my list, but I stopped making grocery lists three storms ago. I just wander around the towering shelves of the local market waif-like amongst the bright aisles of shiny objects and fresh produce. I close my eyes in the exotic fruit section and imagine myself on a beach in a country where I don’t know what anyone is saying, especially the weather reporter.

Anyway, on my way to said market, I stood on the stoop ready to lock my door when I realized there were only long johns on my bottom half reaching down to my oversized Sorel boots—it was then that a thought bubble-cartoon popped into my head of just my long underwear between me and the fishmonger. At that moment I noticed a dark blue object peeking out from a snowdrift. It was my lost gym bag from two storms ago. New thought bubble: Me at the gym. I left it in place and went inside to put on pants.

Winter in Maine is a writer’s season to be sure. New material, edits, and revision on long forgotten projects. But it’s also awards season. A time when famous people congratulate each other for being themselves. And my favorite among the praise-of-self honors, the Grammy’s, snapped me out of a recent funk. After watching Queen Bey et al strut their stuff in everything from Ming Dynasty headdresses, green satin capes and Jimmy Choos, I began to think about my long underwear episode. I had been wearing them for three days. Am I becoming one of those writers? I hate to be cliché, but If there were awards for cliché writers, I would get one for most authentically dressed. Thought bubble-cartoon: Me wearing my 1970’s pink chenille bathrobe with a pack of smokes sticking out of the pocket for my jacket flap photo.

Back to storm preparations. The last straw on my nomadic supermarket visit was when the cashier/bagger reached into one of my multi-functional cloth bags I pride myself on and pulled out a pair of underwear (the short-regular kind) as well as a stray sock I had never noticed was missing. The look I gave this man was so desperate, so pleading that he simply placed my under-items in with the bourbon and my copy of Prevention Magazine. Mercifully, any further eye contact was averted. 

Last thought bubble: Me accepting an award for being myself from my igloo in Maine. I am wearing my Alaskan headdress, fur-lined Jimmy Choos  and my long underwear.

What’s your thought-bubble?

                                                                                           This is the igloo surrounding my home

This entry was posted in general and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to Awards Season–or the long and the short of it

  1. mj wirght says:

    After reading your latest, I will stop complaining about the wind blowing sand in my face on my beach walk here in sunny Florida. And I have heard the humidity is good for dry skin.
    Press on up there in good old Maine.

    • Sally Sally says:

      MJ, I see your thought bubble as the humidity creates a nice surface for that sand to stick to your exposed parts. You’re a walking sugar cookie. Thanks for the image!

  2. Joan Chandler says:

    Oh, good. A chance to have a thought bubble or two about this winter’s storms!

    First – how glorious is all this snow!? (I know some of you might choose an alternate adjective.) There are happy, rosy-cheeked skiers, snowmobilers, and even shovelers everywhere I look. I have friends who spend the winter in Florida, but the husband heads back to NH for the month of February for the chance to groom and navigate the snowmobile trails. Last year he spent a month puttering around the house, visiting friends and relatives, and eating out. This month he’s hardly been at home, just out and about, frolicking in the feet of snow. Last weekend some friends and I spent the morning in Newport, enjoying the Rotary Breakfast and parade – which we could have done without the snow, but what is a Winter Carnival with no snow? And today a group of us older ladies enjoyed a marvelous authentic sleigh ride with our new friend Mark and his Suffolk horses Virgil and Woodrow. These beautiful horses with seemingly little effort pulled us along hilly, narrow woodland trails around a lovely old Andover farm. Yay, winter!
    An added bonus from the storms is that I’ve finally met a couple of near neighbors. I moved into a first-floor apartment in town seven months ago, and as yet had not officially met the second-floor and third-floor tenants. After the neighborhood plow guy cleaned my parking spaces on Monday, I went outside to shovel the parts he couldn’t hit with his plow, and heard someone say, “Could I help you do some shoveling?” It was Mr. Second-Story, who introduced himself, chatted amiably, and helped make short work of the paths around my car. Later in the day there was a knock at my porch door, and there stood Mr. Third-Story, asking if I might have some sand or salt he could borrow, as his car was stuck in the front yard of the apartment building. I happened to have a bucket of each, so he took them to try. I watched from my window, just in case this didn’t work, or in case a second pair of hands would be helpful. He successfully extricated his car, then returned my buckets and stood on the porch chatting. I said that perhaps we’d now see more of each other, and he replied, “Yes. I’ll be down to borrow sugar, butter……” Thank you, Mother Nature, for bringing neighbors together.
    Next plan: snowshoeing/walking on the groomed woodsy snowmobile trails. Yay, winter!
    🙂

  3. Sally Sally says:

    Joan, Your thought bubble is you, with two men on top! You go, girl!

  4. Penny Nelson says:

    Sally, I couldn’t help but picture you as Maxine in your long undies. Glad the store wasn’t out of Bourbon. What does everyone do with all that bread anyway?
    My “NH storm bubble” says, “Back Away From The Fridge!”

  5. Deb says:

    Sally, I love that you put Bourbon and Prevention Magazine in the same bag!!

  6. Martha says:

    Hilarious!

  7. Sandi Jensen says:

    That was enjoyable from far away, sunny and beautiful New Zealand. I’m so glad to be missing this streak of storms, until I read Joan Chandler’s comments which made me hesitate for a moment. But only a moment. Now I’m back here by the river, in the warm sun and talking with equally friendly housekeepers and neighbors. I hope spring comes early to Maine, but at this rate I doubt it.

  8. Annette says:

    You made me burst out a loud gaffaw as I read your latest here, along with grateful thanks to whatever power made you my friend.

    • Sally Sally says:

      Thanks, Annette. Right back at you!
      Annette’s thought bubble cartoon: Jamie Fraser clad in kilt and high boots coming to the rescue with his large shovel!

  9. Trudy Cohen says:

    I hear you, Sally. Sometimes I take the dog out in the morning when I’m in p.j.’s and snow boots. No coat. Some day I’m going to lock myself out; now, that would be embarrassing. If you had on your long john’s while shopping in Wal-Mart, you’d be considered over dressed. But, whatever you wear isn’t important, just keep writing.

  10. Lisa Nathan says:

    That was so funny! You poor thing when the cashier found your undies and sock! I laughed out loud! I love it! Thank you!

  11. Annie says:

    Simply Hilarious! I popped my bubble when the undies & stray sock were pulled out of the bag!

  12. Lisbeth Bochette says:

    Deb’s comment on having Bourbon & Prevention magazine in same bag is too funny! So funny when cashier found your undies & sock in your recycle bag! I remember when I was teaching a class in Child Welfare long ago and a couple of potential foster parents ca whom I had knew outside the class told me during break, “I think you have a sock stuck to the back of your blazer!” As the man peeled my black dress sock off my black velour blazer – creating a static cling noise!! I told them at least the sock wasn’t a pair of panties! We all got a laugh at that! Keep writing Sal…I’m sure I’ll always comment! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *