Giving it my worst

stormy night

stormy night (Photo credit: ‘J’)

I just had a 1 hour massage.

I am in pain.

My massage therapist commented early on in the torture, “Your rhomboids are Rice Krispy-like.” I’ve heard bad lines, but that was just about the worst ever. While Katniss was wrenching cereal bits from my shoulder blades, I was wondering what else she might find…like m and m’s somewhere mid-thigh, or baguettes just north of my hips?

Lying there in pain, internal dialogue kept me from biting through my bottom lip.

The rice krispy line may be a contender for a Bulwer-Lytton prize. Perhaps third person and extended, of course to no more than 60 words. This could be my chance at a literary prize. To hell with Pulitzers. I seriously think I am going to enter the B-L Fiction Contest, where www means wretched writers welcome, where infamy=fame, and notoriety is the goal.

I actually turned myself in to massage therapy to solve chronic back pain and the therapist ended up curing something I didn’t know I had. When all food groups were said and done and I was getting dressed, I realized my range of motion had miraculously expanded. My arms were free-wheeling machine-like blades, accomplishing feats I could only imagine until then. I just assumed the limited range of motion was just me, not a screwed up version of me. It was Rice Krispies all along causing my writers block.

But, I am in pain.

What food groups are causing you pain?

http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/index.html

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2 Responses to Giving it my worst

  1. Susie K says:

    Great read Sal!
    Reminds me of my favorite bumper sticker,
    “I do what ever my Rice Cripsies the le to …… snap… crackle..pop!

  2. Lis says:

    Wow, I just got a massage on Tues and it was WONDERFUL …no food groups to mention except as I lay down on the table face down – my face went into the “donut” hole & therapist had a face cloth below that had the delicious aroma of “peppermints.”
    I love my massage therapist! Only get to see her on holidays when I get a gift certificate….but massages are great! Great writing Sally!!

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